Thursday, March 18, 2010

The Good, The Bad, The Really Bad...


I have a question, Ladies... Of course you love being a mom, but do you, at times, find your child just plain gross? I'm not ashamed to admit that there are a very few things about my otherwise gorgeous son that are so off-putting, they are downright abominidable. I have thought this through, and of the 100,000,008 (yes, I counted...) things I LOVE about being a mom, there are a few things that on paper would make the job seem less appealing. Here are a few of things I considered to be vomit-inducing:

(3) Diaper Rash: Picture it. You're getting your precious bundle ready for his bath. He's wiggly. He's giggly. He's...covered in red, itchy, irritated bumps all over his rear. Nothing puts a stain on a good evening like red, ithcy baby butt. And of course, good ol' Mom is the one who gets to rub that vile-smelling ointment all over it. Gross.


(2)Spit Up: My son has a game he likes to play in the morning. The rules of the game are simple: See how much spit up I can get on mom without her noticing and leaving the house looking and smelling like the side of a dumpster. Extra points if you succeed on Sunday morning before church. Lane-1, Mom-0.


(1) Boogers: I don't know if this is normal or not, but my precious, perfect angel has these strange anomalies that appear in his nose from time to time. They appear to be boogers, but could be meteors for all I know. These things are huge! Viewable from most satellite imagery! And they position themselves right out of the realm of the average Kleenex. They slowly make their way down and eventually join in the fun of the spit-up game.


Honorable Mention: Loud baby farts, sucking on his own toes, and eating dog food. Gross. Gross. Gross.


As gross as he can be sometimes...a lot of times... I love my son so dearly along with all his messes. I love him and Pepto Bismol. Those boogers are HUGE, I tell you!

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