Awesome Ramen...

I have a confession to make: I'm a total hypocrite. Up to now, I have been the health food Nazi when it comes to my son's diet. He has no access to processed foods, no unnecessary sugars, and no high fructose corn syrup because it just sounds dangerous. But that's him.... my eating habits are a whole different story. While I do stive to eat healthy, there is something about overly processed, high sodium junk foods that makes my mouth water.

Topping the list of my guilty food pleasures are the cheap and delicious Ramen Noodles. I did not feast on these in college, as most of my classmates did. I was feasting on these delicious delicacies long before that. These have been and will continue to be a lifelong love affair. Maybe it's the MSG.

I have really thought this out, and can tell you exactly what is is about Ramen Noodles that makes them so fantastic:

(1) They come in meat flavors, yet contain no actual meat. They give you that "Yeah, I'm a vegetarian" feeling.

(2) Two words: Spicy. Chicken.

(3) The noodles resemble worms, which is really cool when either are a kid or have a kid.

(4) They provide you with dining options: You can (a) break them apart and make them easier to eat on the go (b) water them down and just drink them if you're really on the go (c) leave them long for more refined dining.

(5) Last but not least.... they are cheap! Usually less than a quarter. Up your's Dollar Menu!

As I complete this post, my mind is already beginning to wander over toward the kitchen cabinet where I know I will be faced with an intense dilemma: chicken or beef. Spicy chicken you say? I already ate those like an hour ago...

The Good, The Bad, The Really Bad...

I have a question, Ladies... Of course you love being a mom, but do you, at times, find your child just plain gross? I'm not ashamed to admit that there are a very few things about my otherwise gorgeous son that are so off-putting, they are downright abominidable. I have thought this through, and of the 100,000,008 (yes, I counted...) things I LOVE about being a mom, there are a few things that on paper would make the job seem less appealing. Here are a few of things I considered to be vomit-inducing:

(3) Diaper Rash: Picture it. You're getting your precious bundle ready for his bath. He's wiggly. He's giggly. He's...covered in red, itchy, irritated bumps all over his rear. Nothing puts a stain on a good evening like red, ithcy baby butt. And of course, good ol' Mom is the one who gets to rub that vile-smelling ointment all over it. Gross.

(2)Spit Up: My son has a game he likes to play in the morning. The rules of the game are simple: See how much spit up I can get on mom without her noticing and leaving the house looking and smelling like the side of a dumpster. Extra points if you succeed on Sunday morning before church. Lane-1, Mom-0.

(1) Boogers: I don't know if this is normal or not, but my precious, perfect angel has these strange anomalies that appear in his nose from time to time. They appear to be boogers, but could be meteors for all I know. These things are huge! Viewable from most satellite imagery! And they position themselves right out of the realm of the average Kleenex. They slowly make their way down and eventually join in the fun of the spit-up game.

Honorable Mention: Loud baby farts, sucking on his own toes, and eating dog food. Gross. Gross. Gross.

As gross as he can be sometimes...a lot of times... I love my son so dearly along with all his messes. I love him and Pepto Bismol. Those boogers are HUGE, I tell you!

Mom Moments I

We all have them, ladies. Mom's are generally harmless creatures: we nuture, we provide, we protect. But, we all have those moments when we do things and either after, or often during, we think WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING!! While on my way from home today, I ended up behind a vehicle driving painfully slow. I'm all for safe driving, but this was beyond my level of patience. I went to pass, convinced that I would see one of two people behind the wheel: a terrified first timer, or a bewildered old timer. What I saw instead... and I must share this so as not to be alone in my trauma... was a woman BREASTFEEDING! While driving, people!! Now, I'll be the first to admit that more often than is comfortable to admit, I act before thinking. And, I've been in the car with a screaming, hungry infant, but never...NEVER... have I felt to take the concept of multi-tasking to that extreme. It would not have been so bad, except for this was not the first sighting of this nursing neanderthol. I have actually passed this woman, in this same situation, once before! I suppose those who do not learn from their mistakes are doomed to repeat them. Well, I for one took note. Moral of the story: If you're going to breastfeed while driving, make sure you can drive the speed limit while you do it. Otherwise, I might rear-end you while applying my make-up and sending a text.

The Methods of my Madness....

If you are new to my blog, welcome. You have entered the thoughts and opinions of a fabulous, young mom trying best she can to make sense of this crazy world. My name is Beth Cooper, like the movie but not as stupid. This blog will chronical the ups and downs of my life's rollercoaster, and the observations I make along the way. Please do not remove your seatbelt until the ride comes to a complete halt.... and it will be a while, so you will need a snack. Enjoy!